January 28, 2017 was a big day for me. I, Erika, self-proclaimed cautious driver and scaredy cat freeway-goer, embarked on my longest ever solo driving trip--a 2.5 hour quest to my new home. I moved out of my parents' house and into my boyfriend's apartment in a city I barely know. I ate a peanut butter burger for the first time and loved it. I crashed my college's annual winter ball and felt too old to be dancing among underclassmen.
Present - It's sobering to think that my current situation depends heavily on the relationship I'm in. If I did not have a serious boyfriend, I'd probably be living at home, applying for jobs locally and hanging out with my high school friends just like any other break from college. Instead, I followed a guy to a city I'm not crazy about with no idea how I'm going to find a job and pay for rent, internet, groceries... The present is uncertain. I don't know what I'm doing now or tomorrow and I feel like a bum.
Highlights - Some big-ish things happened this year.
- I graduated college. Although my degree isn't helping me get shit, so this feels irrelevant.
- I saw The 1975 in concert. Their albums are the only ones I can listen to entirely and enjoy every second of it
- I traveled to four different countries abroad (Austria, Hungary, Slovakia, Iceland). I learned that I love to travel, but I would hate to live anywhere other than America. America is easy, familiar. I can do America. I don't have the energy to live anywhere else long term (mostly speaking of non English-speaking countries). Living abroad felt like drowning.
- I accomplished one of my biggest dreams! I worked at Disney World for 4.5 months on the college program. Even though my job was hella boring, I loved getting to play in the parks every single day. I'm now one of those snobs who won't wait more than 20 minutes for a good ride and I listen to the Wishes track when I'm feeling sad and nostalgic.
- I realized for the 22nd (joking) year in a row that I'm shitty at long-distance communication and will never be a good friend to anyone not within a one mile radius of me.
Changes - This past year felt stagnant. I didn't experience self-transformation or growth like I did after I lived in New York. I haven't gotten to do any exploring on my own. I feel dull because I've been babied. My trips and college programs have been aided by parents, professors, managers, and so on. There's not much room to learn when someone else planned your itinerary. This year I want more independence.
Goals - My writing makes me cringe. I have dreams of writing best-selling novels and this is the best I can do? Ugh. I want to write every day to hone my voice. It's cheesy, but I love me some Macklemore. And he says, "The greats weren't great because at birth they could paint. The greats were great cause they paint a lot."
My laptop is gonna die. That's all I got.
Until next year, peace. And croissant donuts. <3
