You Would Never Break the Chain

There are only 8 days left of Blog Every Day November, and I really don't think I want to finish it. Of course I want to be able to say I wrote a blog post for every single day of the month, and I don't want to give up when I'm so close, but I'm getting tired of it.

In the beginning, writing was an escape from my busy days at work and school and I looked forward to sharing something random with you. As you could probably tell by the last week though, I've been running out of time and passion for these posts. As quantity went up, quality went down, and if NaNoWriMo taught me anything, it's that the two do not equate.

I still have a wealth of ideas for blog posts, but I never touch on them because they'd take more than the 30 minutes I have to write for myself each day. So even though I wanted to write more about interesting things, I'd instead go for something short and sweet because it was easy. What's the point of that? I'm not proud of the quick posts; they're not as fun to go back and read. They certainly can't be entertaining for you either. If you're a regular reader of my blog, you've probably felt overwhelmed by my daily posts, and the last thing I want to do is shoo you away.

Basically, I may not complete this challenge. I have more homework than I can even think about right now and not enough time to do it all, so blogging is quite irresponsible of me.

Thank you so much for reading and posting comments. If you were thinking about doing a daily blog post for a month, stick to 20. Any more than that and it starts to become a chore.

Have a fantastic weekend! Get ready for turkey day and spending time with the fam bam!


On Repeat: "The Chain" - Fleetwood Mac
I'm Craving: My family and friends back home

Will you give me a hug?

Today I don't feel well. I have a stomach virus that's keeping me in bed and making all thoughts of food nauseating. I'm tired and overwhelmed with how much work there is to do in the next 3 weeks. I don't think I've said more than 5 words to anyone today. I'm lonely and teary-eyed.

What I want is someone to hold me. I want someone to speak to me softly and spoon warm soup into my mouth. I want cuddles and my hair stroked and someone to say they'll take care of me. I want someone to dry my tears.

I would just like an honest to goodness, real, genuine friend here.

Maybe what I need is my mom.

I don't want to do this thing called 'work' anymore. Can we skip to the part where I'm a mommy to four beautiful children who love me despite my snoring, anxiety, and worrying? Let's go to the part where I'm snuggled up to my husband on the couch, watching a movie, and knowing he will never let me go.

I have dreams. I'll get there someday.


On Repeat: "Look After You" - Louis Tomlinson (The Fray cover)

The World We Live In

Want to be fascinated and scared, inspired and appalled? Check out worldometers.info.

It's a cite that tracks world statistics in real time. In other words, if you want to know how many people are born with each passing second...or how many suicides occurred today, this international cite gives you that information as it is happening.

As of 12:19 am on November 21, this is the current state of our world, and the numbers are only increasing:

Statistics on tumblr posts, bicycle production, days until the end of oil, and a vast range of other topics can be found here.

Check it out for yourself. You'll be mesmerized.

How to Make a New Friend

A prose poem I wrote today:

The Make a New Friend Game

            Inspired by the poems of David James

At the dinner hour, suit up in brown leather and gaucho pants from 2006. Roam the aisles of a craft store, grocery store, or thrift shop depending on which one you’d rather be trapped in during the apocalypse.  When the store assistant asks if they can help you find anything, invite them to direct you to the aisle of taco party must-haves. If they look at you with a face that says: what the fuck and they ask you to repeat yourself, cover your face with the nearest head-sized item and walk away. On the chance that their eyes brighten and they lead you to a selection of goods that you indeed believe would put the bop in the taco party bop shoo bop shoo bop, ask them out to your favorite miniature golf place. You are doing well when they say yes.

On the day of the meet-up, wear that shirt your mom picked out for you. It’s secretly been your favorite because it brings out your eyes.  Brush your teeth, double knot your shoelaces, and scatter cereal in the grass for the squirrels. After these things have been done and you feel good about yourself, walk – don not run – to the designated meeting place.

You earn 10 points if the other person shows up before you with a smile and/or awkward laughter.  This game is finished when you are both comfortable sharing middle school horror stories and are okay with how they hang the toilet paper – over or under the roll. 

If you didn't get the bop shoo bop shoo bop reference, listen to this feel-good tune:

4 Desserts I Want to Try

I love baked goods, there's no denying that. I started a pinterest account for the sole purpose of keeping a collection of desserts I want to make. While looking up recipes for this blog post, I actually found my heart beating faster and my mouth watering with the strongest desire to indulge in everything. This is a problem, yes. No one should be getting aroused by food, but I guess that's why they call it food porn. It's a thing. And I binge on the photos.

Too much information? You're right, it's barely even Tuesday, what was I thinking.

Well, here are 4 desserts I can't wait to make and eat:

Clockwise from top left:
(1) Salted Caramel Mocha Cookies - I'd like to use more mocha in my baking. Look how chewy they look!
(2) Circus Animal Cookie Truffles - I will be in a sugar coma and I will enjoy it.
(3) Chocolate Chip Cookie Peanut Butter S'more Bars - Now I know what to do with all my Hershey's bars.
(4) Red Velvet Cupcakes - I never wanted to make anything red velvet again (so much food coloring!), but Averie makes these sound sooo delicious.

Which of these desserts would you most like to try?


On Repeat: "That's All" - Genesis (My worst nightmare just happened. My roommates are sleeping right now and I accidentally unplugged my headphones from my laptop, letting the music blare. I don't want to wake them up or have them think I'm wasting my time on the internet when I could be sleeping like them.)
I'm craving: A movie night, cuddled up by the fireplace with my kitties and some hot chocolate

Naked Juice

This weekend, my boyfriend visited me for the first time in 5 weeks! We drank juice...Naked! ;)

 I'll be sad to see him leave again, but I'll have our new memories to daydream about and this conversation to make me laugh:
"Baby, when are you leaving?"
"Tonight."
"I know, but when?"
"Later."
"No, what time?"
"I don't know."

On Repeat: "Come Sail Away" - Styx
I'm craving: stuffed crust pizza

Dorm Life: Living in a Triple

I didn't have time to write a quality post today, so I'm sharing a sample blog post I had to write for an application to be a student blogger at my school. Unless you're an incoming college freshman, this probably won't apply to you...sorry.

triple (n): A dorm room that houses three people.

In July before my freshman year, I obsessively checked my email for the message that would reveal the fate of my first year at college: my housing assignment. 

Whether or not you’ll have a good time at college is based on where you live and who you room with, right? You’ve heard the horror stories of the girl who tears apart her roommate’s closet for not being invited to a dinner party, or the guy who brings his pet rat and lets it freely run around the room. A lot of scary stuff could happen! 

So the day Residential Life sent me *the email*, I was all kinds of anxious. One click to open the email, a quick scroll to the important stuff, and there it was: the names of my roommates. 

Roommates, plural. Now my biggest concern wasn’t if I would get along with one person, but if I would get along with two. I cried. I pleaded with God, wondering why he would throw down such a curse on me, the introvert.  College was coming fast though, and there was nothing I could do but hope for the best.

Did I shake you up enough? Get you worried about your life on campus? Well don’t be afraid, my friend, because I have fabulous deets to share. Living with two other people is actually one of the best things that happened to me freshman year! I loved my room and roomies so much that we’re in the same room together for a second year. So fear not when you open up that housing email and see that you’ll be living in a triple, because I’m filling you in on the perks…

Top 3 perks of living in a triple:

• 1.      More space. Besides a few exceptions, living in a triple means there is more room to move, stretch, and hang out. Plus, the extra space offers more opportunities for moving the furniture around and fitting in more stuff.
• 2.      Fewer items to bring. Three people mean having an extra person to do their part in bringing the essentials. Things like a fan, TV, couch, fridge, and extra shelving is split between more people, so you end up saving money.
• 3.     Always have a friend. No one wants to go to lunch alone, so if one roommate has class during the only time you can eat, chances are your other roommate is free to eat with you. Also, if all of you are majoring in different things, your roommates can introduce you to people in fields that you would have never interacted with otherwise.

If you happen to be placed in a triple, don’t think of it as a curse, but think of it as a blessing!

6 Books I Want to Read

One of my least favorite things about being in college is that I never have time to read. Ok, I totally have to read pages and pages of stuff for my literature class and my poetry class and my research class and...you get the picture. But getting to spend some time on myself and actually read for my own pleasure? I haven't done that since August.

Every year, I set a goal for myself to read a certain number of books. The past two years, I've interestingly been able to read 32 both times. I realized that college made me incredibly busy though, so for 2013, I set an easy goal of 25 books. I am disappointed to say that I am only 31% of the way there with 14 books. How unfortunate considering how many great books there are to read!

Her are a few titles that I can't wait to get my hands on:

Clockwise from top left:
(1) Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell -- After falling in love with Eleanor & Park, the latest release from Rowell surely will not disappoint.
(2) 10 Things I Hate About You by David Levithan -- I know, I didn't believe it was a book either. And by my favorite author too!
(3) Austenland by Shannon Hale -- I love love loved the movie so I'm hoping the book is just as good.
(4) Alice I Have Been by Melanie Benjamin -- hopefully the perfect book to break my attachment to YA romance.
(5) Every Day by David Levithan -- Hellloooo, John Green said this is his favorite book.
(6) Egghead by Bo Burnham -- My friends and I were obsessed with Bo in middle school, so this one will be a treat.

What books are on your to-read shelf?

p.s. Add me on goodreads!

3 things to be inspired by

Some things for you to consider, process, and get inspired by as you start a new day:

If you have a spare hour to watch this entire video, you will not feel like you wasted your time. It documents the physical abuse that Clayton Moss endured as a 6 year old and how he is living now at the age of 19.
 The messages I got from this video were to (1) always be considerate and treat people with more respect than you'd give yourself, (2) trust your gut, always always always, and (3) reach out to people; be kind and friendly. I was reminded of a quote I heard over the summer: you never know when you'll be the answer to somebody's prayer. By doing any of these three things, you may save someone's life (and cause a chain reaction).

If you've ever wondered why our pets have such short lives, read the answer that a little boy gave after he witnessed his dog's death.

 

(via: aplacetolovedogs.com)

Again, I was reminded that our mission on this earth is to love others and do good. Yes, do good. Just like Mr. Feeny says...

(via: ology)

(I was flipping through channels so I could multi-task while folding laundry when I saw the last episode of Boy Meets World was on. Cue ugly cry fest. Nothing makes me feel as nostalgic and old as this episode does.)

Spread the love today!!! And then share what you do to make a positive impact on our world so that we all may be inspired afresh.

The effects of negative thinking

For the research class I'm in, we had to write a 20 page paper on a topic of our choice. Monday was the due date for our rough drafts and since then, we've been reading 6 papers written by our peers per week and giving them our feedback. Today, I read a fantastic essay on the ramifications of modernity in Nepal. For a first draft, it was nearly perfect. I found myself intrigued by a topic I never would have willingly read about because of how well the words flowed off the page. It was so good. And I was jealous.

The author of this paper is in my creative writing poetry class too where I also marvel his work. Finding out that he wasn't just a pro at writing creatively, but that he could master formal essays too, I grew horribly disappointed in myself. While he wrote 20 pages of perfection in two weeks, I couldn't even write that much or that well if I were given two months. With his ability to create a paper so well written in so little time, I was reminded of how it takes hours and hours and revisions upon revisions to come up with something I'm proud of. With people like him in the world, I'll never amount to anything.

Then I think of the other people I know who are better writers than I am who don't even have an interest in perusing a career in writing.  I hate to say it's not fair, but it's not. I like writing, but it just takes me so darn long to write something that people won't regard as boring or underdeveloped. (I know this post isn't quality writing, but I'm sharing it anyway. This is my blog. I vent without the intention of impressing.) At least I'm aware of what sucks about my writing; this way I can work to improve.

Negative thoughts like these swelled in my mind for the next few hours which made me very depressed and down on myself. I thought about ditching my English major and giving up on my dreams of becoming an author. What's the point in continuing this path if no one will ever react to my writing the same way that I reacted to a college student's work?

The only person I can remember who said she sincerely liked my writing is my best friend Erin, but even then she was referring to the style I take to when writing emails. I am very very thankful for her and if I do continue writing, I see it being because of her. She's the only one who faithfully reads my blog posts anyway. So Erin, this one is for you. How do I keep myself from thinking I suck so much?

Tights for every day of the week

There are so many fun tights available these days. Here are some of my favorites:

I love how you'd never see anyone else wearing these around.

(via: modcloth)

This pair of paisley print tights would work with a girly or edgy look.

(via: Emerging Thoughts)

How sweet would these look under a pair of denim shorts?

(via: modcloth)

Where have you ever seen knee pads on tights? So cute!

(via: asos where they're originally $72!!!)

Not fishnet-y enough to be trashy, so great!

(via: modcloth)

The color of this pair is gorgeous!

(via: Target)

You can never have too many pairs of black tights.

(via: Kohl's)

My favorite place to buy unique tights used to be Urban Outfitters, but it seems they've stopped carrying them! Now I can only ever dream of owning fun tights from modcloth (unfortunately too expensive for me). Which ones are your favorite?

On Repeat: "To Love and Back" - This Century

I'm Craving: hashbrowns, omelettes, breakfast food...yummmmm

Winter Haiku

The squirrels have grown fat.
Each day a new reminder:
I hate wearing jeans.

A Day in the Life of a College Procrastinator

As expected, I waited to write my 20-page research paper until the weekend before it's due. Yesterday, I wrote 3 pages in 12 hours. Today, I plan to write 14 pages in 15 hours (since only the rough draft is due, I'm gonna slack and only reach 17 pages). Some people can write 3 pages an hour, but that ain't me. I'm only good for writing a paragraph every 2 hours. So I'll document my progress every hour and you'll get to see how sucky I am at staying focused. Woooooo let's gooooo!

12:00 pm: I, along with a few other hardcore studiers, waited outside the library's doors until it opened at noon precisely. It was like waiting for Willy Wonka to let the winners of the Golden Ticket into the Chocolate Factory.

12:20 pm: My phone's inbox is 99% full, so I can't get any work done until I clear it out. Also, I'm a little hungry so I'm gonna eat this bagel I smuggled out of the dining hall.

1:00 pm: My inbox is now at 84%, iheartradio keeps breaking, and I have to pee. Time to work.

2:20 pm: Eating applesauce. Wondering what direction I can take my paper in. Wishing the library weren't so quiet so I could chomp on some carrot sticks without getting annoyed looks from everyone. Realizing how heavily my life revolves around feeding myself.

3:40 pm: An actual thought that struck my mind: "I want to quit my life." So far, I've written a paragraph. I'm going to write for another hour and then get coffee.

4:40 pm: I still only have a paragraph written, but the good news is that I know what I can devote another 350 words to! But I need food first. Let's see if I can convince my poor roommate who has been in the fetal position all day with cramps to go to dinner with me.

5:25 pm: COOOOFFFFFFFEEEEEEEE!

6:25 pm: Going to the bathroom for the sixth time today. Oh yeah, I wrote a page!!! Just 13 more to go. 

6:45 pm: Eating the apple walnut turkey wrap that I snuck from the dining hall to eat as a midnight snack because I'm a fatass who can't concentrate without having food in my mouth.

7:20 pm: Starting to panic because the library closes in less than 5 hours and I still have so much work to do. In case you were wondering about my bladder, I just went to the bathroom again.

8:00 pm: I just had a moment with the girl sitting next to me where we smiled at each other with equal expressions of "Yup, it's gonna be a long night for me too."

9:00 pm: I found a new direction to take my paper and I'm really enjoying it! I wish I had started this journey weeks ago so that I could actually write something that isn't word vomit and be proud of what I uncovered. Let this be a lesson, kids.

10:00 pm: Listening to Ellie Goulding's "Tessellate" because I needed a dance party in my head. Triiiiangles are my favourite shape. Made it to page 6!

11:00 pm: I'm just gonna end this now because I already know how my night will go. At midnight I'll begrudgingly leave the library and take a shower. Then I'll set up camp in the basement of my residence hall and probably stare at nothing a bunch more times. At 5 am I will cry as the janitors come in to start their day of work. At 6:45 am I'll give up and drag myself to my room where I will then sleep for 3 seconds (1.5 hours).

 I have failed.


On Repeat: "Latch" - Disclosure
I'm craving: chocolate and a cat to hug

Hey you, try harder.

John Green, on how he asked his wife, Sarah, out for the first time:

"So I sent an email to 7 of my friends, including Sarah, and I said, 'Does anyone want to go see 'Lost in Translation' tonight?' and then I sent an email immediately afterwards to the 6 of my friends who weren't Sarah and I said, 'NOT YOU.'"

If only I heard more stories of guys I know asking their romantic interests on dates before asking them to be their girlfriends. Isn't there any tradition anymore? Where's the fun without nervousness, enjoying conversation together, or going on an actual freaking date? Honestly, treat a girl to dinner and a movie, or take her on a special date to a park/fair/concert/seasonal venue/scavenger hunt/foreign planet that you think she'll like before you commit to anything serious. 

Do you want her to think you're the most awesome guy who knows how to have a good time and makes it his priority to make her feel like the only girl in the world? (No Rihanna reference intended) Or are you gonna set the bar low, show her she shouldn't expect anything more than flirty text messages and parking in your mom's PT Cruiser? 

She can do better than you. 

Try harder next time.

Well this quickly turned into a frighteningly poisonous rant. There's no way to end this without awkwardly pasting smiley face everywhere, so, ummm, check out the New York Times bestseller list for Young Adult literature! John Green is on there 4 times if you bump it to the top 15. Way to go Nerdfighteria.

On Repeat: "Rude Boy" - Rihanna (don't even ask...)

I'm craving: carrot sticks

Your book sucks

There are few things I love more than breakfast for dinner, movies where the main characters risk their lives for the ones they love, and reading book reviews that tear apart an author's work.

Yup, I get my kicks from the trash talkin' book reviewers of the world.

When I finish reading a book that was so awful I wonder how it even got published, I head to Goodreads to find the dirtiest reviews. I can't really explain why they're so fun to read, but it's kinda like being told juicy gossip in jaw-dropping detail. The good ones usually rate the book two stars or less and file it under shelves like why-author-why and wish-i-never-read. They're even more entertaining when they use gifs to illustrate their reactions.

A few golden snippets come from a reader's review of Simone Elkeles's Wild Cards:

Derek is the hot, troublesome bad boy (except that he's NOT, why does everybody keep SAYING THAT, he literally goes around charming little children and doing the yard-work unasked, he's not bad at all you idiots).

Also, Ashtyn, just because a guy knows how to make breakfast, doesn't mean he must have spent a lot of time with his mother. Guys are capable of scrambling eggs and do not actually require women to show them how. They, like females, require sustenance for continuing to be alive.

And even better from someone's thoughts on Something Like Fate by Susane Colasanti:

In college, some of my friends and I would entertain ourselves for countless hours by playing a game in which you have to quote the price necessary for you to do a task. For instance, they might ask me how much it would take to let one of them slap me across the face. (probably like 10 dollars) Or for me to take a shot of my own urine--ehhh, probably like 50 bucks. Relevance to this review? I think someone would have to pay me about 100 dollars for me to ever listen to another Susane Colasanti audiobook.

I know I already ranted in a status update about the stupid reasons the two main characters believed they were “soulmates” in this book but here are a few in case you missed it: they both like raspberries, they both like to abbreviate words while speaking, they both like to watch hot air balloons, and they both compare the bottled water they drink to colors and shapes. (WTF?) Put me in a room with anyone, ANYONE, and I can find at least that much random crap that we have in common. 

Are you addicted yet? There's no way I'm the only one who enjoys these reviews like they're crack. Think of a book that left you disappointed and then look it up on Goodreads. Find the worst reviews and maybe you'll understand why they're prime entertainment.


On Repeat: "Tessellate" - Ellie Goulding (Alt-J cover) (Her version makes me feel like a different person, like I'm in a different world. It's breathtaking and sexy and timestopping and ahh I love it)
I'm craving: Cheetos

Chocolate Dreams

I love me some chocolate. Chocolate flavored, chocolate covered, chocolate in any form. It's not normal if I go a day without having at least one thing with chocolate in it. So today I'm sharing my favorite chocolatey treats. If I know you personally, read until the end where I encourage you to do the same.

1.  365 Everyday Value Hot Cocoa. Normally I wouldn't care if I bought something that wasn't organic, but choosing this hot chocolate mix is so easy. Not only is it organic, but it's free of artificial flavors and hydrogenated oils. I especially love that you scoop the mix out yourself because then you can add as much as you want. I'll add a spoonful to my coffee or double the amount when making hot chocolate, which you can't do with packaged cocoa mixes. Found at Whole Foods Market.

2.  Snack Factory Dark Chocolate Crunch Pretzel Crisps. I'm not dark chocolate's biggest fan, but these chocolate covered pretzels are heavenly. If I eat more than a handful, I'll get a headache because of how rich they are, but I don't even care. These are the perfect combo: sweet and salty. Found at most food retailers.

3.  Brookside Dark Chocolate Acai. These are the best kind of candy. Fruit flavored centers covered in a dense layer of dark chocolate. They have the most satisfying texture and are soft and chewy in the absolute best way. They come in blueberry acai, pomegranate, and goji raspberry but no flavor is better than the other. Found at most food retailers.

4.  Trader Joe's Cocoa Almond Spread. If you are a die hard Nutella fan, get ready to fight me because I'm saying this spread is better. Unlike Nutella, this spread is made with almonds and is thicker and more chocolatey.  I had a habit of eating it straight from the jar to get my chocolate fix, and boy did it do a great job. Found at Trader Joe's.

5.  Ghirardelli Dark & Sea Salt Caramel Bar. When it comes to chocolate bars, I'm not picky. I'll eat as cheap or as expensive as it gets. My boss spoiled us with premium Ghirardelli chocolate in the beginning of the year and the ones with caramel filling were by far my favorite. I really do feel like I'm floating on clouds when I eat these. Found at most food retailers.

Now that I think of it, putting together a fancy gift basket of someone's favorite treats would be a great Christmas gift idea. If we're friends, make a post about your favorite foods and specialty items and I'll see what I can do come Christmas time. I'm serious. Let me make your day by giving you a bundle of your favorite things.

On Repeat: 100.3 WNIC Detroit's Christmas station
# of times I've watched The Princess Diaries this school year: 3
# of coffee shop visits this school year: 5

Nykerk Love

If you were wondering about my lack of blog posts in the month of October, I was involved with a massive tradition at my school and didn't have a lot of time. The tradition is called Nykerk and has been around for 79 years. Basically, it's a competition between freshman and sophomore girls by way of song, play, and oration. I was a part of the song category where 124 other girls and I dedicated 13 hours a week to practicing a medley with synchronized hand motions. Our big performance was on Saturday where we were scored by a panel of judges who decide the winner by averaging the scores of all three categories in both grades.

After three weeks of practice, this is what we looked like (watch in HD!):

(The view is better in this video, but the sound quality is better here)

I'm in the front row, fifth from the left.

Not too bad, eh? I actually thought we were pretty good, but that was before I saw the video recording. After watching it a few times, I can totally see why we didn't beat the freshman. We were rushing and barely had any props in comparison. You can see our competition here. (They did a fantastic job. Nykerk Love!)

The whole show is three hours long and song girls like me are judged on smiling the entire. time. I had a coughing fit right after we performed because my mouth was dry from smiling for so long. Plus, we're pretty much packed like sardines on the 40-year-old bleachers. Our running joke was "Get Nykerk comfortable!"

One of the really fun things about being in Nykerk is getting a morale boy. Our practices can be long and tiring so every night we look forward to a goofy skit performed by a group of guys we call "song boys." Their job is to make us laugh and feel special...and buy us candy. Every guy has to morale seven girls each week of the Nykerk season, but the twist is that the girls don't know who is moraling them until the night before the performance. So they hang encouraging posters on our doors, tape candy to them, and sign with their secret signature.

Chuckie Finster, my morale boy, went over the top on the last day. In a pumpkin bucket, he gave me 13 Hershey's chocolate bars, my favorite bag of chips, and a bunch of other candy. This was in addition to the other candy he had already given me with his previous posters. I never thought I'd say this, but I am now sick of Hershey's chocolate. Then, as tradition goes, he showed up at my door on Friday night and presented me with a rose. Nykerk Love is so sweet.

I hate stats class

Research Question: Does Intro to Statistics make Erika an unhappy student?

Hypotheses:
      Null: Intro to Statistics has no effect on Erika's happiness.
      Alternative: Intro to Statistics makes Erika unhappy.

Studies show that going to Stats class three days a week for a total of 210 minutes makes Erika feel useless and dumb because she cannot pay attention to the professor's heavy Russian accent. Her average quiz score is 67% or D+. After spending 6 hours studying for the second test, she received a 65% which left her feeling frustrated and discouraged.

The p-value for this study is 0.00001, therefore we reject the null hypothesis. In conclusion, we have strong evidence to suggest that Intro to Statistics makes Erika an unhappy student.

Welcome to my life this semester. Today, I spent 2 hours trying to work on a stats project with my friend Sarah, but all we accomplished in that time was downing 14 oz of our favorite coffee drinks and writing "I hate stats" on a piece of paper with our non-dominant hands.


That's the worst thing about going to a liberal arts college: you're required to take 10 credits of math and science no matter what your major is. Yay for sucking at stuff!


On Repeat: Just the sound of my future crumbling into nothingness
# of times I've watched The Princess Diaries this school year: 3
# of coffee shop visits this school year: 5

A boy I know

Until second semester of my freshman year of college, I could say I've never had a boyfriend.* I hadn't even been kissed. Surprising to a lot of people, I was perfectly content with the single life. Some of my friends were vowing to never kiss a guy until they were engaged and I thought: hey, that sounds easy! I've gone 18 years without kissing anyone, what's another 10 or so? Sure, I lived for the couples in Nicholas Sparks movies and had many not-so-PG daydreams about certain members of One Direction, but when it came to actually having a boyfriend? I wasn't interested. I preferred the fun of crushing on guys and spending all night acting out scenarios of us together in my mind. I didn't want to be tied down by having a boyfriend. No way.

But then I met Joel and things changed.

During the second half of our freshman year, we had back-to-back classes together and lived in the same residence hall. The more I saw of him, the more I found myself loving the way he would play with his glasses when he talked to me and how small he looked next to his giant of a best friend. I loved how he knew every German grammar rule without having to look at his notes and that he never wore jeans. I had a crush on him, but that's all it was -- a crush like normal.

Our study sessions stretched longer and longer as we'd often watch movies as a way to spend more time together. Then one night in March, after the credits to Stuart Little had long passed, I told him I liked him. I wasn't expecting him to do more than say he liked me back, so when he asked me to be his girlfriend, I was shocked. You mean there's more than just liking each other and watching movies on the beanbag chair and sharing secret smiles when we pass in the dining hall? You actually want to be in a committed relationship with me where you basically pledge to never be interested in anyone else? Really?

Shoot. I really didn't know how love worked.

I turned him down. Non-single Erika was not someone I knew and I wasn't ready to meet her any time soon. Yet he still made my heart stop when he'd come into class with wet, post-shower hair and I'd find every excuse to be with him. ("Yeah, we have to read Psalm 38 for Religion. I'll see you in three hours, roomie!")

He asked me out again, then again until I finally said yes. I told myself I couldn't live my whole life in  A Walk to Remember fantasies. No matter how scared I was, I had to start somewhere.

Now, seven months into our relationship, I've learned more things about myself than I ever would have thought. I've become less judgmental, more thoughtful, patient, and incredibly grateful. Without him, I'd still be blind to the great things God is doing in our lives. He is incredible and I am blessed by him daily (he doesn't know it, but I see God in him all the time).

Happy seven-month anniversary, J-Slav!


*To anyone who knows me personally and is thinking, "Hey Erika, what about that guy junior year who--" "Don't remind me!" say I. I was able to successfully suppress any thoughts of him and I advise you to forget about him too unless you'd like to see me throw up.

Good News

I stumbled on a quote today by an atheist that said something like, "If you have news that could save my life but you don't share it, you hate me." Never before had I thought of denying someone the gospel as a form of hatred. But I get what they mean. What love are we giving to the world if we are not spreading the Good News?

I believe God's love can be shown through our actions. We can help someone in need by offering many things: food, shelter, clothes. We can smile at strangers and sincerely ask how they are doing. We can volunteer our time, go on mission trips, and encourage positivity.  There are a lot of things we can do to spread the love of God. Yet even with all of this, if people are still dying without Jesus, how much did we really help?

This is where we Christians are called to do more. In addition to living out God's love, we are meant to tell others of the new life they are promised through Christ. We do this through evangelizing, or preaching the gospel. To Christians and non-believers alike, evangelism can sound like a forceful and unloving task. In actuality, sharing the life changing Good News can be done very gently and lovingly. God would never give us a mission if He thought it would turn His children away from Him, and He certainly doesn't call us to do it alone. God is for us, and the more we seek to expand His kingdom, the more we will grow spiritually. So take a moment to think. How will you spread the Good News today?

If you want to know more about the Good News or have questions about anything else, please comment below. I'm far from knowing all the answers and I'm certainly having my own spiritual struggles at the moment, but I would love to listen to your thoughts and pray for you.

To start your week off right, I made a playlist of my favorite worship songs. Sing along!

truth

I'm having trouble believing I'm anything more than an eyesore.
I keep telling myself I'll never make any friends because I'm so annoying.
I'm convinced no one will ever love me without wanting to get rid of me first.

Sometimes you just have to tell yourself to shut up.
Stop buying into lies.
Don't sell yourself short, because you are truly beautiful, special, and made to do great things.

Negative thoughts don't go away so easily, but with the smallest effort toward thinking the truth, the easier it is to keep yourself from falling into satan's trap. 


On Repeat: "Gotta Get Through This" - Daniel Bedingfield

30 Days of Blogging

Normally I'd be spending November typing word vomit into Microsoft Word for two hours a day, but this year, I ain't got that kinda time. I'm referring to NaNoWriMo, a worldwide challenge to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I still want to write though, so I'm committing to something a little less demanding of my time: blogging every day in November! It's exactly like BEDA, but in November... you totally didn't need me to explain that. Anyway, I'm really excited to get my butt in blogging gear. If this is something you think you'd enjoy, then join me! Let's be friends and come up with post ideas to do together. Because really, what will be more rewarding at the end of the month? A tumblr page of pictures you didn't even take or a collection of ramblings, thoughts, and dreams that comes straight from your heart? The answer is the latter if you weren't sure...

Some blog ideas I already have in mind:

• My go-to shower playlist
• A review of my life on Twitter
• How to: get over One Direction
• Sharing my found poems
• Why you shouldn't buy Hunter rain boots

Thanks for reading and happy blogging!