Fatties USA

Little Baby Freddy Cheese Curd

 Girls love food.  If you meet a girl who claims she doesn't love food, she's lying. So what do you do when you get together with your two best friends on a Friday night? You have an epic food party of course. The more carbs and cheese, the better. And nothing, my friends, is more cheese-infested and carbified than the colossal, the revered, the magnificent: Cheesy Cheddar Pull-Apart Bread!  I'll link you to the recipe here, but I'm warning you, this is some major food porn.

Before Baking

 This bread is probably a billion calories. Per bite. For real, let's break it down:
Between the crevices of a sliced-up loaf of bread, you slather a half cup of melted butter. Then you stuff it with four cups of cheese. If you don't think that's a lot of cheese, you must milk cows for a living because holy heart attack. Not to mention all the garlic. We put so much that I wouldn't be surprised if its sweet stench is laced throughout this post. 

After Baking

Unnnnnnnffffffffff. With so much cheese and butter on a huge piece of bread, you'd think we'd share this with my family, our neighbors, and maybe even the Brady Bunch, right? Hahahahaha no. We only gave ourselves a second to stare at its beauty before attacking it from all sides. I was dipping it in chunky salsa and the leftover butter-garlic mixture with more thirst than a crazed honey badger.  Halfway through, my friend goes, "This is why we don't have boyfriends."  Yes. Yes indeed. 

The Only Survivors

 Within ten minutes, our glutton dream was over and in turn we gained 6 pounds each and some food babies. Worth it? Yes. Although I now get queasy at the sight of cheese and fear the upcoming summer days spent in bathing suites. Fatty or not, I'm really glad I got to spend the evening with two of my favorite people. And in the end, we concluded that it's okay that we don't have boyfriends. At least this way we don't have to shave. Plus there's more food for us.



On Repeat: "Troublemaker" - Olly Murs