How many subs can I make for you today? And if it's over six, a tip would be fantastic.
What kind of bread? Let's see if you can say "monterey cheddar" correctly on the first try.
Six-inch or footlong? Honestly, do you think I can read your mind?
Do you want double meat or double cheese? I'm not gonna tell you, but it's 60 cents more for extra cheese.
American, provolone, pepper jack, or shredded cheddar? I hate pulling apart American cheese. Please don't pick American cheese. UGH YOU PICKED AMERICAN CHEESE.
Do you want it toasted? It's the dinner rush and you're really gonna make me put your steak in the microwave which takes five times longer than the toaster? I'm done caring.
Lettuce or tomato? If you say spinach at the last second, I'm only giving you 5 leaves.
Any other veggies? Congratulations for picking EVERYTHING, your body loves you!!! But I can't close your sub. Good luck eating that.
Any dressing? Pick Chipotle Southwest! Chipotle Chipotle Chipotle! It's my favorite.
Do you want to add any chips, cookies, or drinks? If you do, I'll think you're rich cuz dis bout to get expensive.
Your total is $XX.XX. Don't you dare pay for a $16 order with a hundred dollar bill or I WILL CUT YOU.
If you take our one-minute survey on the bottom of your receipt, you'll get a free cookie the next time you come in. My manager makes us do these surveys anyway, so it really doesn't matter whether or not you give us good reviews.
Have a good day/night. ~**smile like a cherub**~
Only two more days of this!!!! Honestly, I'm generally a patient, happy person and am exaggerating with most of these afterthoughts, but man, sometimes I just can't help wanting to tell people they're being stupid.
On Repeat: "Live While We're Young (acoustic)" - One Direction. Don't you ever tell me 1D can't sing. Sweet Jesus.
Okay, this is soooo funny.
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