Baking Adventures: May

During the kitchen safety unit in high school foods class, we were always taught to close cabinet doors and drawers when we weren't searching through them so that we could prevent bumping into them and hurting ourselves. I always thought it was a dumb precaution and that anyone who ran into an open door had to be an idiot. Well today, I was turning my kitchen upside down looking for a cake pan and I became the idiot my younger self would have laughed at -- I bumped my head on the corner of an open cabinet door, smack in the middle of my forehead. I saw stars.

While I've forgotten most things I learned in high school, one thing has stuck with me. That is, when life gets stressful or boring, bake something! There is nothing a few bags of chocolate chips and tons of butter can't fix. Since I've been out of school for a month, I had the chance to channel the true glutton in me and bake a ton of goodies. Join me in my review of this month's baking adventures :)

1. Chocolate Toffee Saltine Candy
My baking-bestie and I cooked up this candy we found from a youtube video. It's basically a chocolate peanut butter bar with toffee topping, but I like to call it Instantaneous Diabetes. If I were to make it again (depending on if I feel like spending my day in a sugar coma or not), I'd use more saltine crackers and only half a bag of toffee.
Stress factor: High. This recipe requires you to work quickly or else the chocolate/peanut butter chips don't melt. I recommend not making this alone, as you'll need an extra set of hands.
Taste Rating: 4/5

ignore the crappy photo quality and take in the beauty of sugar!!!

2. Pumpkin Chip Muffins
I wanted to make something for my boyfriend's family as a thank you for letting me stay at their house over Memorial Day weekend. The recipe called for one and a half cups of canola oil (absolutely fricking ridiculous) so I replaced the half cup with applesauce to make it less fattening. Then disaster struck. I burned the first batch; all the rest came out super oily on the bottom; I didn't bake the last batch long enough so they sunk in; they tasted like nothing after coming out of the oven. I wanted to cry. Somehow by the next day though, they actually looked and tasted good so I was able to face my boyfriend's family without offering them muffins of shame.
Stress factor: Low, unless 1-1/2 cups canola oil worries you.
Taste Rating: 3/5

3. Chocolate Cake
My boyfriend loves chocolate cake. I love chocolate AND cake. So what better thing to do together than make THE BEST CHOCOLATE CAKE. It called for mini chocolate chips, but we used jumbo ones, and that made it so much better. Then, instead of homemade buttercream frosting, we used whipped vanilla from a can. Still good, considering we used almost an entire can on just the middle. Cake ain't no time for skimping. In the end, it wasn't the best chocolate cake ever, but it will always be my favorite because I made and shared it with someone who is my favorite. *smiles for miles*
Stress factor: non-existent
Taste Rating: 3/5

4. Pineapple Upside-Down Cake
My dad's birthday is tomorrow and since I'm the absolute best daughter in the entire universe, I made him his favorite. Out of everything I made in May, this was by far the most fun. The whole thing looks really complicated, but it's actually the easiest thing ever so I felt like a mega bake star. The batter tasted the best too. On the down side, this recipe came with the most dirty dishes...which have been sitting in my sink for the last eight hours. Even more unfortunate, I still have to wait at least another 18 hours to even try this masterpiece.
Stress factor: Low - medium. The directions are very precise, making it seem like if you mix the batter for a second longer than assigned, you.will.fail.
Taste Rating: 5/5 if my other senses are any indication

Bonus: Babycakes Cupcake Maker
My friend and I used her Babycakes maker to make spring funfetti cupcakes. I am in love (in love, I tell you!) with the machine. It bakes eight at a time for as little as five minutes and you can make cornbread, brownies, muffins, and like ANYTHING DELICIOUS. Ohmygoodness I want one, but when I told my mom about it, she absolutely refused to buy me one for Christmas because she's sick of my baking. Ugh, if only she wasn't so paranoid about my weight. Damn you, Freshman15.

On Repeat: "#Beautiful" - Mariah Carey ft. Miguel
Days until Colorado: 18
Days until California: 58
Days until I no longer have to work at Subway:79
Youtube video of the day: Internet Animal Impressions2

Zetus Lapetus, this is a lot of words. Did you read everything? Did you? If you did, comment saying your favorite dessert. If you didn't read everything, you make me very sad and I hope a monkey steals your favorite pair of shoes. Now weird noises are coming from upstairs and I'm home alone for the second night in a row, so I'm gonna go try not to be attacked by aliens now. Good night!