Hey you, try harder.

John Green, on how he asked his wife, Sarah, out for the first time:

"So I sent an email to 7 of my friends, including Sarah, and I said, 'Does anyone want to go see 'Lost in Translation' tonight?' and then I sent an email immediately afterwards to the 6 of my friends who weren't Sarah and I said, 'NOT YOU.'"

If only I heard more stories of guys I know asking their romantic interests on dates before asking them to be their girlfriends. Isn't there any tradition anymore? Where's the fun without nervousness, enjoying conversation together, or going on an actual freaking date? Honestly, treat a girl to dinner and a movie, or take her on a special date to a park/fair/concert/seasonal venue/scavenger hunt/foreign planet that you think she'll like before you commit to anything serious. 

Do you want her to think you're the most awesome guy who knows how to have a good time and makes it his priority to make her feel like the only girl in the world? (No Rihanna reference intended) Or are you gonna set the bar low, show her she shouldn't expect anything more than flirty text messages and parking in your mom's PT Cruiser? 

She can do better than you. 

Try harder next time.

Well this quickly turned into a frighteningly poisonous rant. There's no way to end this without awkwardly pasting smiley face everywhere, so, ummm, check out the New York Times bestseller list for Young Adult literature! John Green is on there 4 times if you bump it to the top 15. Way to go Nerdfighteria.

On Repeat: "Rude Boy" - Rihanna (don't even ask...)

I'm craving: carrot sticks