The Make a New Friend Game
Inspired
by the poems of David James
At the dinner hour, suit up in brown
leather and gaucho pants from 2006. Roam the aisles of a craft store, grocery
store, or thrift shop depending on which one you’d rather be trapped in during
the apocalypse. When the store assistant
asks if they can help you find anything, invite them to direct you to the aisle
of taco party must-haves. If they look at you with a face that says: what the fuck and they ask you to repeat
yourself, cover your face with the nearest head-sized item and walk away. On
the chance that their eyes brighten and they lead you to a selection of goods
that you indeed believe would put the bop in the taco party bop shoo bop shoo
bop, ask them out to your favorite miniature golf place. You are doing well
when they say yes.
On the day of the meet-up, wear that
shirt your mom picked out for you. It’s secretly been your favorite because it
brings out your eyes. Brush your teeth,
double knot your shoelaces, and scatter cereal in the grass for the squirrels.
After these things have been done and you feel good about yourself, walk – don
not run – to the designated meeting place.
You earn 10 points if the other
person shows up before you with a smile and/or awkward laughter. This game is finished when you are both
comfortable sharing middle school horror stories and are okay with how they
hang the toilet paper – over or under the roll.
If you didn't get the bop shoo bop shoo bop reference, listen to this feel-good tune:
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